Remembering Dad

Today is the first anniversary of my Dad's death at age 59. So young! So unexpected. While it's not my tendency to focus intentionally on sad things, I made myself spend some time this weekend thinking about Dad, looking at family photos and re-reading something I wrote for his memorial:

Things My Dad Taught Me
1. It's never too late to make a change. Dad (and Mom) packed up and moved from California to an intentional community in Tennessee at age 58. This, after moving to California from New York at age 49.

2. Plan for the unexpected, give yourself an extra 15 minutes to get somewhere. You can always read your book while you wait (you did remember to bring a book, right?). We clashed a lot on this point but I'm beginning to see the value in being early. And for that matter, closing cabinet doors...

3. Accept your failures but keep trying. Dad made a lot of mistakes, especially in the realm of family, but he apologized often and tried hard to be and do better. I'm beginning to better understand his struggles as a father now that I am a parent.

4. Change is an internal and external process; people have to let you change, too. It wasn't until his death that I saw the new man he was to so many others. I wish I'd known that person instead of clinging to the old version I insisted he was.

5. Social appropriateness is way overrated. My Dad didn't hew to social norms; it embarrassed me many a times, but there's a little of him in me.

6. Eat dessert (preferably ice cream-Breyers, if pressed to name a brand) first, because life is short. Not that he knew how short his life would be...